


hand in (ranch) hand

by orphan_account



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff and Crack, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Roommates, and to karl marx for basically writing a rich boy love story, animal sciences major kuroo, by god this is FUCKEN STUPID but i did have fun riting it, exaggerations, heart to heart conversation over tiddies, i would like to apologize to animal sciences majors everywhere, no i will not explain, nothing to do with canon except Rich Kenma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-15
Updated: 2020-04-15
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:16:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23649079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: "We're farmers. Experts of animals. Our time to spend with human beings is limited. Cherish it."Or, Kenma is moving out, and Kuroo is stressed out.
Relationships: Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Comments: 11
Kudos: 59





	hand in (ranch) hand

**Author's Note:**

  * For [xxchenqing](https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxchenqing/gifts), [nemenana](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nemenana/gifts).



> me: how do u feel about animal sciences major kuroo  
> nem: oh cool i wanna see him in a lab coat  
> me: boy oh boy

There are only three things in life that truly matter: money, happiness, and Kenma Kozume. While Kuroo isn't abundant in the first one, as long as he has Kenma beside him, he believes he would never run out of happiness a day in his life. This is something that he only just realized recently.

Kenma is moving out. This is also something that he only just realized recently. They've been sharing an apartment since they started college, and with their lease coming up, Kuroo has been noticing signs that his roommate (and childhood friend and best friend and also his crush) might be a man in possession of a good fortune who is currently in want of a new apartment.

Proof number one: Kenma has been coming home later than Kuroo, which is unusual, since Kuroo is an animal sciences major who never gets his cow-poop-smeared ass home before afternoon melts into evening, not counting the walk home, and it's nowhere near midterms or finals for Kenma to spend so much time at the computer labs. Kuroo initially waved this off—Kenma was probably just helping Hinata with his homework or suddenly found passion in the ancient boxy campus computers in his faculty that run mysteriously smooth—whatever Kenma does, it's none of his business. If it's important, he would have told Kuroo like he always does.

Proof number two is where Kuroo started noticing that Something Is Afoot: He found an apartment list strewn about the floor. After perusing it, he found that the apartments Kenma is considering are close to their campus and they're extremely capacious and lavish: the floor-to-ceiling windows in the pictures floods the rooms with natural light, revealing the lustre of the flooring—which is another way to say that damn, ma, they're _way_ beyond Kuroo's budget.

It's not like Kuroo doesn't understand why. Their current apartment is small, and there's barely space in Kenma's bedroom with his fancy computer setup and all its tidbits. As an effect, Kenma has started sleeping in Kuroo's bedroom, when he does sleep, since more often than not he has to be dragged and tucked in first. As a further effect, Kuroo began to notice how difficult it is to sleep in close proximity to Kenma—not because he's noisy or kicks in his sleep—but because—because of _what?_

Because Kenma is adorable. He's adorable when he drops himself like a domino into his futon after not sleeping for almost two days. He's also adorable when he's asleep, scooted close to Kuroo. He's adorable when he just woke up, he's adorable when he sips the coffee Kuroo makes with the fancy ceramic coffee drip kit that he bought him as a birthday gift, he's always been adorable, Kuroo realizes, and it gives Kuroo troubles breathing. But Kuroo doesn't mind. He rather wants to see how it goes, how much his inner Waluigi screams everytime Kenma pulls his long hair up and tie it in a man bun, fingertips only barely seen underneath an oversized shirt that Kuroo believes used to be his.

The more logical side of Kuroo reminds him that it definitely would be good for Kenma to move into a larger, more comfortable space, since his online business is blooming and he can afford practically anything if he wants to. He doesn't have to share a space with Kuroo in his potentially smelly room—smelly from the animals, mind you. Kuroo showers twice a day and he uses a whole lot of soap. It's just that sometimes his uniforms retains the farm smell even when it's clean, and Kuroo has resorted to spraying them with Poo-Pourri (not AXE body spray, no, no, since he's not a high school boy and he holds himself to a high standard) in defeat.—But Kenma hasn't said anything to him about it yet, and Kuroo himself hasn't gotten around to ask him, so he's left pondering if Kenma is scheming something or if he plans to (friend-)dump him or some other stuff.

In short, Kenma is moving out.

And Kuroo is stressed out.

It's four in the afternoon, the sun is still beating down on him as if yelling that it's summer, which it is, and Kenma is all Kuroo is able to think about as he sits beside Eleanor—she's a cow in the faculty farm, the one with the heart over her nose. Kuroo named her himself.—while staring intently into an empty pail.

"You would never see your face reflected in an empty pail, y'know," Bokuto materializes beside him, breaking his reverie, "let's milk the cows and see if you can see your reflection on fresh raw milk." he smiles brilliantly as if he just stated an equally brilliant hypothesis.

"Bokuto, I think I'm in love." Kuroo confesses.

"Thats nice!" Bokuto remarks. A second later, "WAIT, WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?"

"I LITERALLY JUST TOLD YOU!"

"WHO WHERE WHAT WHEN HOW. SPILL."

Kuroo rubs the back of his neck. "It's… Kenma. Where? Not sure. What? I think I'm in mcfuckin' love, that's what. When? Since a long time ago, I suppose, but I just... realized now. How?" he sets the pail down. _How? First of all, Bokuto forgot to ask why._ Anyways, here's why: You already know that Kenma is adorable, but did you know this? Kenma is warm, both literally and metaphorically, despite what he leads people to believe. Kuroo has slept with Kenma pressed against him long enough to know that. It's probably why he's always cold: his body can't retain heat, it goes out and makes him warm like a furnace. The metaphorical warmth comes with a long time of familiarity. It's in the way Kuroo finds takeout foods with sticky notes telling him to eat dinner when he goes home. It's in the way Kenma acts all huffy when he scolds him for not eating substantial food, but eats every nutrition-packed meal Kuroo puts together for him anyway. It's in the way Kenma reminds him to sleep despite having to be reminded himself, and the way he has pulled Kuroo back up over and over since they were just school kids. As he pushes the pail beneath Eleanor's udders, he thinks he might cry a little had the situation been more morning TV drama than 1930s ranch novels. "I've known him long enough to not be. But here's the thing: I just realized it now, and he's moving out. I don't think I'm moving with him this time, and I don't know how to tell him about, you know, how I feel and all that. I don't want him to feel held back just because of it."

Bokuto chimes behind his cow, "Then wouldn't you be lonely if you don't tell him before he moves out?"

"I would, but I'll make time to see him. I've been crashing in his place since we were little, anyway."

Without pausing from milking his cow like the natural born farmer that he is, Bokuto lowers his head to look at him, eye-to-eye, from under his cow. "But you'll tell him, right? Tell him about how you feel as soon as you have the time and chance that feel right." he sits back upright, in a manner akin to a wise old man whose calcium intake is still perfectly absorbed. "We're farmers. Experts of animals. Our time to spend with human beings is limited. Cherish it."

Kuroo laughs heartily. "You're speaking from experience aren't you?"

This prompts Bokuto into a long wail, and then an even longer rant about being unable to see his boyfriend, Akaashi, since he always goes home late and Akaashi is overworked despite still being an intern in a publishing company. Kuroo laughs again, picks up the pail, now full, and sees the muted warm colors of the afternoon gently reflected back at him.

"Kuroo, you're home?" Kenma's voice echoes from inside the apartment the moment Kuroo steps inside.

"Yeah, what's up?" Kuroo answers. _Kenma is home early today,_ he thinks as he struggles to take off his dirty boots.

Kenma comes out of the kitchen, clothed in a big pair of sweats and an even bigger shirt. His hand is wrapped around a bottle of coke. Half of his hair is pulled into a man bun and his bangs are clipped to the sides while the rest falls tenderly around his shoulders. Kuroo is staring. Obviously. _Stop staring, Kuroo. Your foot is only halfway out of your boot._

"I need you to look at this," Kenma pulls up his phone and shows him his camera roll. The photos are of the apartment whose listing Kuroo had found a couple of days back. "it's capacious. There are two bedrooms and two bathrooms, and the living area is well-lighted. You said natural lighting is the best, didn't you? Don't have to go out to get some sun."

"That's nice, Kenma. Are you planning to move there soon?"

"Yes. You're moving with me."

Kuroo trips in the middle of getting his other foot out of the boot, barely catching his balance on the cat-shaped umbrella rack. "What? Kenma, the place looks like, I dunno, The White House? I can't afford-"

"No, listen," Kenma clears his throat, eyes falling to Kuroo's hand on the umbrella rack. "move in with me. Don't worry about paying the rent and all that. I'll take care of it."

Kuroo is speechless.

Kenma finishes his coke, then shifts back to his usual nonchalant tone and continues, "Our current apartment is quite far from the campus—especially your faculty—compared to this one. If we move there, you won't have to walk for forty-five minutes before and after class. Your schedule is already packed as it is."

Kuroo finds his voice and finally drops his boot to the floor, standing barefoot at the door, still dumbfounded. "Wait. You're paying the entire rent? You can't do that!"

"Yes I can, Kuroo. Got the cash. Remember when you said I could buy a mansion in Silicon Valley if I want to, like, two weeks ago?"

Kuroo is losing his mind. "Well, I'm aware that you're a well-off eligible bachelor and all that jazz, I mean you can't just give me that much while I just sit around and do nothing like that, it's unfair!"

Kenma laughs. Kuroo is suddenly aware of the mud in his clothes and how sweaty he is. "Do I look eligible to you?" he tucks some loose hair behind his ear, decorated with silver studs and a hoop that glint under the overhead fixture. He adds in a quiet voice, "Also you've done a lot for me, you know. It's the least I can do."

And here Kuroo thought Kenma was going to leave him coldly, not telling him until the day he packs his stuff, saying _haven't I told you?_ God, Kuroo doesn't know what to do. This is a lot to take in. He's going to die right here, at the door, under the fluorescent overhead bulb, in his muddy uniform. And since he's going to die, he might as well say his last words: "I love you, Kenma."

Kenma smiles and heads back to the kitchen. "Love you too."

 _God,_ Kuroo _is_ dying, "You're an eligible bachelor—" _breathe, Kuroo. The brain needs oxygen._ "—I mean I can't thank you enough, and I mean everything when I say–I mean everything I said, just now." And he wants to say more things and mean it. He wants to say, _You look beautiful._ _You've done a lot for me as well. Thanks for thinking of me. I feel cared for._ _I want to take care of you._ Saying them might be pushing too far, so he halts. And waits.

Kenma stops in his track and doesn't turn to look at him. _Oh boy. Has he gone too far?_

"Then, so do I." Kenma says, then turns to him with an expression that makes Kuroo's insides turn violently, in a good way. "I mean it. We'll move in together, and since we can keep pets in the new apartment, let's adopt some cats." He steps closer and lightly knocks Kuroo's nose with his knuckles. "And if I'm an eligible bachelor to you, then I am one for you."

Kuroo laughs. His heart feels light and warm, and the warmth spreads to his chest, rising and falling with the joy of something new, no, something he'd known for a long time, only no longer precarious. "I'm so happy I could kiss you if I wasn't covered in cow shit."

Kenma grins, pleased, and retreats to the kitchen to throw away his empty bottle. "Then wash off, dummy. Come back to kiss me later."

**Author's Note:**

> hello if u made it here: thank you. and i love you.  
> ;  
> this is my first ever fic and it was Extremely Rushed (hope that explains everything lmao). i wrote this in order to not spiral onto madness during quarantine and to avoid writing my three papers that are due this semester. it's been fun writing this! i learned that romance is Difficult and i have Zero idea abt how it works. i respect people who writes in the romance genre and are able to construct and navigate the Concept of love n the whole shebang. anyways, i hope the characters aren't too ooc since i'm only familiar with the first couple of season of the anime.  
> ;  
> shoutout to nemenana and xxchenqing, thamk u guys for the support, this fic is dedicated to y'all ;D good luck doing y'alls papers >:[ <3


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